I’m Coming Out

Do you know what it feels like to come out?

I certainly don’t, but I’m trying.

Now, please, my sexuality is firmly fixed in the heter-oh category, but I’m speaking more metaphorically.  I’m not sure why this is so hard for me, but I struggle with embracing the fact that the things I care about matter.  And that expressing my point of view is valid, and shouldn’t mean I need to apologize.  Or be embarrassed.  Or worry that I am coming off as pushy.

There are so many facets to every matter, and we all have the power to stand squarely on our own convictions, just as long as we do it nicely.  With grace. Dignity.   I’d like to reiterate that point to the two rather militant ladies who set up shop across from my local market with signs of President Obama donning a Hitler mustache.  I told them that I would have been interested in learning of their point of view, except that the little hair patch they superimposed upon our Commander in Chief was offensive.  She wagged her finger at me and told me something about thermonuclear war and Russia and Israel, and that “I should be ashamed of myself” for not snuggling right up next to her and denouncing Obama, as he clearly is just like Hitler.

I wonder how successful she was pulling people to her side with that tactic.

Unlike this woman, I come from a mother who never wants to be a bother.  It’s a noble trait.  And her maternal point-of-view runs deep within me.  Although I sigh when I see her don the “I don’t want to be a bother” cloak, I do it myself.  My work now as a champion of talking to kids about a parent’s cancer means, by the very nature of the conversation, that I have to embrace my point of view and repeat it to others.

By the transitive property, that means championing myself.

So many of us are trying to sell ourselves, or our wares, or our thoughts every single day.  We struggle with, as my friend Karen so aptly described it, “the little voice” inside us that doubts ourselves, when we should be thinking of “the big voice” that carries the greater, more inspiring message we embody.

So here’s to believing in oneself.  Hip hip!  To not apologizing for our delightful points of view.  Hurray!  Because, as I tell my son all the time, if we all had the same point of view, then the world would be a very boring place indeed.



Filed under Beautiful things, Just something ...

8 responses to “I’m Coming Out

  1. I like your post here. But seriously, this idea that any of our American politicians are like Hitler has to go away. There’s nowhere to go from there.


  2. paula

    ah, your timing, my dear Sue. A week of doubts. A week that culminated in a coup attempt and possible overthrow for me. So many doubts…can I do it? Should I do it? And a brief feeling after reading your post that, shit yeah, I did it! The most precious thing you can do in this life is believe in something that matters to you. So forge ahead!

  3. I hear you, Sue! I try to tell myself it’s more than about me when I’m selling my book; I’m selling the message. I find it hard being my own PR client at times, but it has taught me to believe in myself. That helps me help others.

    As for the Hitler mustaches? WTF? I think people have some serious anger management and judgement issues out there. Personally, I think it’s based in racism, ignorance and control. I didn’t think there were people out there in SF like that! But that’s a whole other story!

  4. I think as women we were raised to conform and “be nice” and that makes it more difficult to speak up or out. I’m finding it’s becoming easier, however, since my cancer diagnosis. Or maybe it’s because I’m getting older. Ha! But seriously, we must all forge ahead in our own way.

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