This week it shall be words of gluttony, in homage to the recent holidays and the damage done to waistlines across America.
To wit, the word glop. It just sits up there, all jello-y and slightly wiggling. A glop of mashed potatoes is what everyone gets at the Glader house, because a spoonful just doesn’t convey the message. And honestly, it’s more like 4 spoonfuls. Which is equal to one glop, if you must know.
Sop is a cousin of glop. Sop comes in and cleans up the mess that glop leaves. Damn glop, can’t take him anywhere … Sop is often found near a thick slice of bread, or, actually more precisely, sop is IN the slice of bread, because sop is what you do with your bread and that last drizzle of gravy smooshed all over your plate. When I think of the word sop, I see glistening lips and hear lots of slurping sounds.
Now, we all need to make way for plop, who is the superstar of the family, forever known for her role in the Alka Seltzer commercial. Ah, the days when advertising copywriters would use words that evoke sound! Plop, plop, fizz, fizz, OH! What a relief it is! The “p” on the end of plop sounds like a beautiful bubble bursting, and it’s so fitting. When you plop a few ice cubes into your cocktail, there is a satisfying tiny splash.
Then you can do some gulping, which certainly isn’t recommended if you are drinking my husband’s margaritas. But gulp is so lusty and big. There is bravado in gulp.
And I bet you have never realized that gulp spelled backwards is another fantastic word? Plug. Plug is not a word of gluttony. It’s a word of control. Which is what you need to do here in the new year to fit back into your jeans.